GANDANG GRAY🧓✍️

U-ng B-lack A-y N-amuti (U.B.A.N)🧓

Hay, nakakapagod!

Nakakapagod mag-tina ng buhok. Just two or three weeks after coloring my hair, I already see white strands peeking out from beneath the newly dyed chestnut brown. Hair turning white this fast makes the whole process of dyeing feel exhausting and tedious.

The Allure of the Trend

I belong to a family blessed with thick, naturally black hair. I used to have healthy, shiny strands, that “was” (emphasis on the word "was." When I started working in Ayala back in 2000, hair coloring was all trending. My officemates advised me to dye my hair brown to complement my fair complexion, and I eagerly took their advice.

My first attempt was a complete failure. Hindi tumalab ang pangkulay. My hair remained stubbornly black. My coworkers urged me to keep trying until the color took. It worked a little better on the second try, but it wasn't until the third attempt that I finally saw success. I was overjoyed! My brown hair gave me a bright, glowing look, especially when the morning sun hit my face as I walked along the streets to the jeepney terminal on my way to the office. It felt good. I was completely clueless about the trouble that was waiting for my hair down the line.

The Price I Pay.
Eventually, the regular use of hair color took its toll. Studies show that chemicals like ammonia and hydrogen peroxide in dyes can destroy the pigment in hair follicles. By the time I turned 44. I was noticeably grey-haired. The visible side effects didn't stop there, I also experienced increased hair fall, coarse, dull strands, and a shinier scalp where the hair had thinned. The first thing I learned from this experience is that "you reap what you sow" (Galatians 6:7-8).

I had taken God’s gift of natural beautiful hair for granted because I wanted something other than what I was given. My dissatisfaction led me straight to that sachet of brown hair dye. Now, I better understand why God included "coveting" in the Ten Commandments. Desiring and chasing things outside of what we were authentically blessed with can be damaging, especially when those changes aren't essential to our being. Indeed, there is true bliss in being content with whatever God provides. Being genuine and natural is still the best path. The second lesson my hair dye journey taught me is: "rather than covet, be content" (1 Timothy 6:6-7).

Breaking Free From Worldly Influence
Initially, I dyed my hair simply because I wanted to achieve a more foreign look. Today, so many people love coloring their hair in shades of light brown, ash gray, burgundy, chestnut, red, pink, yellow, or violet. Sometimes I get the impression that we are just mimicking our favorite celebrities or are heavily influenced by Western beauty standards. Unfortunately, even when we are fully aware of the chemical damage, many of us still willingly put our hair at risk just to emulate an idolized look.  This brings me to the third lesson: Do not conform to the pattern of this world (Romans 12:2).

Favor what is good, honest, right, and pure. Do not be easily charmed, thrilled, or captivated by passing trends. Opening ourselves to outside influences without wisdom bound to lead to regrets, so be not deceived. As the scripture warns,"There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death" (Proverbs 14:12).

The Path To Acceptance.
I eventually realized that I couldn’t fight God's natural design; graying hair is an inevitable part of aging. Frankly, I grew too lazy to keep up with the constant time and effort required to dye it. More importantly, I refused to let my scalp suffer any more chemical damage. Besides, having white hair at an early age runs in my family genes. My mother had white hair as young as 24, so mine appearing at 44 is already a blessing! I figured I might as well let it out into the open. Acceptance seemed to be the only way to defeat the insecurity my graying hair brought.  And so, on my birthday in 2020, I officially started embracing my natural white hair resolving to be steadfast and unwavering in your decisions and actions (2 Peter 3:17).

Facing the Public Eye
Showing off my silver strands in public was a challenging transition. I rode an emotional rollercoaster, constantly shifting from shy and insecure to bold and courageous. When I walk through a mall or a grocery store, parking attendants, jeepney barkers, restaurant crew members, and baggers are often quick to call me "Nay." They assume I’m a senior citizen, even when they can't see my whole face because of a face mask! But the moment they hear my voice, they instantly shift to addressing me as "Madam" or "Tita." Did they just realize I wasn't as old as they thought? While it feels a bit unfair to be labeled a "Nanay" based solely on silver hair, I cannot blame them. That’s just how the world works, evaluating everyone based on shallow, external or physical traits.

On a separate occasion, a young girl in a "sampu-sampu" store and a female merchandiser in Puregold asked me, "Ate, totoo bang puti yang buhok mo or pinakulayan lang?" Being called "Ate" flattered me! They correctly guessed that I wasn't a senior yet. At least it's just my hair turning old, not my face, hopefully!😁

The Unsolicited Advice.
Even in my new subdivision, a man from the HOA always tells me, "Magpakulay ka na ng buhok, Ma'am." Honestly, he seems more bothered by my white hair than I am! I usually just smile at him. I notice that even though he is in his late 50s, his hair is still completely black. It makes me realize that he might just be trapped in the same worry that used to control me for years. Maybe the moment he saw his first white hair, he rushed to dye it because he was scared of looking old or being called "Tay" or "Lolo."

The Whispers
Once, I was at a Starbucks in Tagaytay ordering a coffee frappe. Behind me in line was a woman, and behind her was a group of teenagers. A girl from that group asked out loud, enough for me to hear,"Buhok na may puti, brown, itim... gusto mo ng ganyang buhok?" Was she talking about me? I turned around and noticed the woman directly behind me had solid light brown hair, confirming my assumption that the girl was pointing out my multi-colored crown. But of course, I didn't confront her. Wa pakels na lang ang inyong lingkod. On the day I chose to grow out my white hair, I had already prepared myself for the possibility of being criticized or bullied or whispered about in places like Starbucks. I chose to manage the pain with grace.

The Real Battle Within.
At sixty, a head of gray hair is widely accepted as the crowning glory of age. However, my own mother never broke free from the cycle of hair coloring. Her stash of Bigen hair dye in the cabinet served her well from her early twenties until she went home to God at sixty-five, painting her hair a lustrous black. I completely understand how she felt. Before I learned to accept my gray hair, I was embarrassed to leave the house or entertain guests, deeply troubled by the thought of looking unattractive. White hair can really damage your self-esteem. But is white hair really the problem here, or is it our own inner desire to look beautiful on the outside that makes us unable to live and function normally? When we look at others, we tend to notice what we physically lack, compare ourselves, and cause our own anxiety.
  

The most burdensome battle we confront daily is never the one on the outside but the one within. As The Little Prince said, "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye." Yet, the world stubbornly believes the exact opposite, that what is visible holds the highest value. Society's current standards of beauty dictate thick brows, long curly lashes, almond eyes, a pointed nose, full red lips, a toned body, a fair complexion, and long, shiny black hair. You will inevitably feel hurt and inadequate if you don't fit into these rigid boxes. Because everyone craves belonging and approval, many resort to altering their appearance. Sadly, changing who we are out of self-gratification or a desperate need to please others distances us from how God uniquely designed us.

Anchored in Truth and Wisdom.
Flaunting my white hair in my forties can still feel awkward at times. Walking past staring eyes and wondering if people are gossiping about my hoary head is intimidating. But God lifted my fearful spirit and gave me the courage to confront what I used to dread. Because of Him, I can meet the world with total transparency: what you see is what you get. As I anchor my identity as a child of the Most High, I realize there is absolutely nothing to hide or be ashamed of. Recalling WHO YOU ARE and WHOSE YOU ARE is the ultimate antidote to our deepest inhibitions. We must always remember that we are God’s unique masterpiece, beautifully created in His image and likeness.

Because of my white hair, cashiers at the grocery store or Mercury Drug occasionally offer me the senior citizen's lane. Honestly, I am tempted to take advantage of it just to get out of the store faster, but our omniscient God knows that while I have white hair, I am not yet a senior. I choose to avoid deception because God despises it, and I carry a healthy fear of Him. Isn't it beautiful how my hoary head is directing me to do good through the fear of the Lord, which is the beginning of wisdom?

Some people believe that gray hair is simply a sign of a stressful life. That may be true, but whatever the cause, if facing life's heavy burdens is what turned my hair white, I take great pride in it. It shows that rather than giving up, I chose patience and endurance. I brought my concerns to my knees in prayer, relying solely on God's mercy to carry me through, all because of Jesus, who is undeniably wise and the very source of all wisdom.

Praise be to the Lord, the Almighty who broke the chains of my insecurity and taught me to wear my true colors with pride. To anyone still hiding behind a mask or a bottle of dye to please the world: step out into the light. Your worth is not measured by the color of your hair, but by the greatness of the God who created you.

@mangliasal